...Where to start

When it rains, it pours!!! Life has taken a few interesting turns all in the last week. I'll write about them later but none of them have been easy. Thank goodness the Lord sustains us and takes our burdens.

I was finally able to talk to Dr. H about the miscarriage. I'm a huge fan of that man! He is so compassionate and tender. He suggested I go in for extensive blood to work to test for a TON of things and see if anything comes up. So sometime this coming week, I'll go in and get 10 viles of blood taken. It will take a couple weeks to get results but it will be well worth the wait. I've had my fair share of blood work done and I don't really get squeamish about it, HOWEVER, I am a HARD stick. I only have one arm that has any hope and it only has one vain that's worth anything. Many times it takes multiple tries and when they finally do get me, I only produce 1/2 to 1 vile. Sooooo, I'm going to drink a TON of water and eat a HUGE meal before I go and PRAY that I have plenty of blood for them to get.

Emotionally we are doing pretty good now. We are still sad and morn the loss but the Lord has given us an amazing peace. I visited a friend on Friday who just had a baby and was able to hold that baby without any sadness or jealousy. I was thrilled for them and couldn't believe what a miracle it was to be holding a healthy beautiful baby. Children are a blessing and we feel so blessed to have even carried a baby as long as we did. We know that one day we will hold a child in our arms and call it "ours" but really, we are all the Lord's children entrusted to our parents for a short time. Ok, now I'm rambling.

Today I cooked ALL day. I'm doing a cooking demo next so I had to figure out what I was going to do and actually measure and write down what I needed to do. I hardly ever measure, so this was hard. Lindsay came over and took pics as I cooked so I can put together step by step recipes with pictures. I'll post them all here as soon as I compile it all. It was really fun but I now have a new found respect for Pioneer Woman who does this on a daily basis. Crazy!

Final Update

My doc's nurse called this afternoon. The HcG came back negative for a pregnancy. The good news is that it is not an ectopic pregnancy nor do we have to wait until Monday for closure.



Chase's sweet grandfather sent us an email after he heard and his first sentence was 'What an awesome God we serve!' And he is so right. It is times like this that we hold on to what we know what to be true. God's ways are higher than our, thank goodness!



We are so grateful we were able to celebrate the life He entrusted us with for as long as we did. We still celebrate even though we grieve another loss. We now have 2 children in heaven that we long to meet. We are also grateful that we have friends and family around us to celebrate and grieve with us. We are not alone in this journey.

Update 2

I just got back from the Dr's office. It doesn't look good. There was no sign of a gestational sac. They took blood and will check levels again on Monday to confirm what they think. I have a slightly higher risk of having an ectopic pregnancy due to how much endometriosis I have in my abdomen so they are keeping a close eye on that.

I am of course very sad and emotional. The hardest part is that we don't know for certain. It's like 99% sure we miscarried but it can't be confirmed until Monday. My doc has been out of town (today I saw one of his partners) and get's back to the office tomorrow. He is an amazing doctor and I'm sure he'll call me when the blood work comes back. Chase is almost home, thank goodness.

Thanks for all your prayers. We are so blessed.

Update

Thanks for all your prayers. I was finally able to sleep around 1AM and actually fairly well. The bleeding has only gotten worse and is starting to get painful. Dallas is completly iced over today and the Dr's office isn't open yet. Chase will probably be let go at noon so he will be home around 3ish. At this point it doesn't look good but I serve a God of miracles, so I am still hopeful. I am just so grateful we have been able to celebrate this life as long as we have and we pray that we can continue.

Scared

It's Tuesday night and I'm bleeding heavily now. Chase is still gone. Please pray for our baby and pray for our hearts no matter what the outcome. I'll go to the doc tomorrow morning.

E

Prego update

My HcG levels doubled within 48 hours which is exactly what it's suppose to do! Our baby is growing! PTL!!! I've had issues with my progesterone being extremely low so I've taken Prometrium the second half of the month for a couple months now. The first round of blood work showed my progesterone was 24 which was AMAZING for me but the second round showed it plummeted to 13, which is not good. The doc has doubled the amount of Prometrium I'm taking in hopes of making that number rise! Unless I feel like something is wrong, I don't have to go back until Feb. 13 and I'll have my first sonogram!

So far I haven't experienced any nausea or heartburn. The last pregnancy, that all kicked in around 6 weeks. However, I have been extremely tired. I've been going to bed around 9 every night! Last night I got 12 hours of sleep but I'm still exhausted. I am not complaining at all, just documenting my pregnancy. Actually, I was telling Chase this morning that since I'm not nauseous yet, I don't really feel pregnant. This sounds weird but I'm almost looking forward to when I am nauseous because then I'll know that I'm pregnant. With our last pregnancy, I knew something was wrong when I woke up one morning and wasn't nauseous anymore.

News!

We're PREGNANT!!! We found out Monday night. I was in such disbelief I took 3 tests in a 5 minute span. We are thrilled and at times speechless. My obgyn is out of town for a couple weeks so I went to my general practicioner to get the blood work done. She knows our history and said, "couples in your situation shouldn't tell anyone until you've made it past the first trimester." She is only wanting to protect us but this last year and half have given us much perspective on children and 'our situation.' We don't know what the future holds but the Lord does and we rest in Him. Our desire is to celebrate this life that the Lord has entrusted us with, no matter how long or short that may be.

We had started down the adoption road and were excited about the possibilites that it could bring. We are still going to learn as much as we can about adoption so we can hopefully use that information in the future.

I'll keep you all posted on my progress. For now, we would appricate your prayers. Our desire is to be able to hold a baby in 36 weeks but we desire even more to have the children that the Lord wants us to have. We are both overjoyed and will cherish all the time we have.

More Wedding Cakes

Wedding Cakes

It's wedding cake weekend! Here are 2 pics for now and I'll post 2 others later this weekend.