My Bad

Tonight at dinner I totally forgot to pray. In the middle of dinner, Miss M said, "We forgot to pray! Jesus, Thank you for this food. I love you Jesus. Amen!" Thank you Miss M for remembering to pray!

Lord, thank you for allowing me to see how much Miss M is learning about You. Continue to teach her about how much You love her and desire an intimate relationship with her.

THIS makes the ENTIRE journey worth it!

Visiting the PoPo

For those of you who don't know, 'PoPo' refers to police officers or cops. My youngest sister affectionately refers to them by this name.

When we first got Miss M, every time we saw a Cop or police car, she would FREAK out. She frequently said, "Cops are bad. They will hurt me." We've been working with her quite a bit on this. We tell her that cops are nice and they are here to help us when we need them. Now when we see one she will look at us and ask, "Are cops bad? They won't hurt me?"

This morning on our walk I decided to give the local police dept a call. The Lt. on duty said we could come down and they would show us around. He was so sweet. He wasn't in his uniform when I called him this morning and all the officers were out so he changed just for us. They showed us the dispatch room with all the nifty computers. He then took us out and let the girls play in the cars. He let them turn on the lights and even the siren! Miss M LOVED this part of our visit. He let them sit on the motorcycle to which Miss M was simply giddy about. It was too precious.

As we were leaving Miss M said, "Cops are nice! They are here to help!" You got it sweetie!

This journey is quite the ride!

For those of you that have followed this blog for a while, you've probably picked up on the theme of our life...change and uncertainty. While at times this can be difficult it forces hubby and I to be completely dependent on the Lord for the next turn in the road. This is pretty ironic since we are both planners at heart.

All that to say, I got a call from our caseworker today saying that the visit this weekend has been postponed until 2 weeks from now! I'm SOOOO relieved! I was really anxious about what this visit would do to them. Hubby will be back by then and will be able to help out with the aftermath of the visit.

Another HUGE exciting update is that Miss M went THE ENTIRE day without a meltdown! This is seriously amazing! She woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:25 this morning. By 10Am I realized we hadn't had a meltdown yet so I told her "Wow Miss M! We haven't had to do a think-about-it-time this morning! Great job listening to mommy!" To which she replied, "Oh I know." Smarty pants!

Single Parenting

Hubby is out of town for 2 weeks so I'm trying my hand at this single parenting thing....and I don't like it very much. Today is only day 2 and while it hasn't been quite as hard as I thought, it sure isn't fun or easy!

Two weeks ago the girls had a weekend visit with their bio family and it took a full week to get them back to 'normal'. I just found out today that they are getting another one this weekend. They weren't suppose to get another one for a long time but a few things did not go as planned so here we go again. I'm really not looking forward to the aftermath that these poor things endure with another transition like this. It is so hard on them since they can't communicate their feelings...well I take that back...they communicate through meltdowns and defiance.

Last time we had one of these hub and I were able to distract ourselves while they were away. This time, I don't have hub to distract me from missing them. While it is sort of nice to have the quiet house and time for me to nap, my protective mothering comes out and I don't want them leave to an emotionally unsafe place. It would be one thing to have them visit my mom or a friend for the weekend....its another thing to place them in arms that you dont' necessarily trust.

It's a good thing they are in the Lords hands even when I'm not there to protect them. Lord, protect their hearts during this transition and uncertainty.

We do have good news for the week! Miss M is almost fully potty trained!!! She has done such a good job at telling me when she has to go. We've had very few accidents this week. I hope she can keep up the good work when she is with her family this weekend.

A Rough Week

We were at the doctors 4 times this week! I went initially because Miss M had a bad rash. While I was there I asked that the doc to check out her throat because her voice was a little horse. She hadn't mentioned a sore throat and acted completely healthy, so too my surprise, the doc said she had strep!

The next day Chase went in because his nose was really red and swollen. Turns out he had a staph infection! Miss Z and I ended up getting staph the next day. Chase had to go back on Friday so the doctor could work on his nose again.

Needless to say, Chase and I spent all day Saturday sanitizing our apartment. We are all on strong antibiotics and no longer contagious which is great.

On a good note, Miss M used the potty 3 times today! We are majorly focusing on potty training this week. I've never potty trained a toddler so if you have any tips, pass them along!

Another Year

Friday, July 10th was the first year anniversary of our first babies due date. Last year when this date came around, it was rough. I was very emotional. This year I was more reflective on what the Lord has brought out of this loss. I was sad wondering what life would be like with a one year old running around but grateful that the Lord has led us to where we are right now.

Convo's with Miss M

Miss M got a doll from one of our friends that she has been obsessed with for the last 24 hours. I must say, she is doing a pretty good job as a mother. She rocks her, makes sure she has enough sleep, feeds her... I decided to ask her a few questions about her new baby doll and here's what I got.

What's your babies name? Baby

Is Baby a boy or girl? Girl

How old is Baby? 2 months

What does baby eat? Baby apple sauce

Do you love your baby? Yes!

After the questionnaire, she came up to me and said, "I want you to hold Baby in your tummy?"

Me: Tummy? How does that work?

Miss M: I mean on your lap.

Miss M: Baby wants Oatmeal. Tie It! (as she hands me a bib for her baby)


She is really starting to parrot us, most of the time that is a good thing :) The other day I was looking for a piece to my immersion blender. She asked what I was doing and I told her "Mommy can't find a part that I need to finish making dinner."

Miss M quietly watched me search through all the cupboards. When I found it she announced, "Good job Mommy! Good job finding it!"

What a Sceen!

So picture this: Miss M opened up our wedding album and found a page with both Chase and I on it. She layed prostrate hugging the album and said the following for about 10 minutes:

I love Chase. I love Chase. I Love Chase. I lUv Chase! I love Chase. I love Chase. I lUv Chase! I love Chase. I love Mommy! I love Chase......

I didn't know there were so many different ways to say I love Chase! And at least I got one I love mommy in there! Too precious. I only wish I had the video camera out. But alas, it was packed away and it would have taken me 10 minutes to get it out and start recording.

Oh, and today I was watching Paula Deen who always makes yummy desserts that Miss M comments on. She asked me what her name was and then said 'I love Paula!'

Blueberries and More

Has it really been 1o days since my last post? I guess the date on the last post doesn't lie. Sorry it's been so long. Here's what's been going on.

This past Monday we went blueberry picking! If you live near East Texas and you haven't been blueberry picking, it's a must! Well that is of course if you actually like blueberries. We went to Echo Springs Blueberry Farm and had a blast!....well let me re-phrase that, once we actually arrived we had a blast. The ride to and from were pretty miserable. I thought the girls would sleep but no such luck. Miss M tried to get out of her car seat constantly because she wanted me to hold her. I was stopping the car every 15-20 minutes to buckle her back in. Ugh.

Miss M picked a lot of blueberries but only 5 made it into the bucket. The rest ended up in her mouth. Which is a great healthy snack...but blueberries are full of fiber.... Need I go further with that thought? For the next 2 days her bottom was stained a greenish/blueish color...I almost took a picture but thought that might be a little too gross.

We've officially had the girls one month. The time has flown by so fast and we continue to adjust. Miss Z is sleeping through the night just great but Miss M still wakes up with night terrors. I've spent the last couple nights sleeping on her floor. It's so sad, she wakes up every 30-60 minutes and yells "Mommy." If I'm in the room I quickly assure her I'm there and she goes back to sleep. If I'm not there she starts screaming until I come.

The only thing I miss since taking the girls is date nights! Seriously. In order for anyone to watch our girls for us, they have to have current CPR and be background checked by MCH. So far my mom is the only who meets those qualifications. She has been so sweet to watch the girls when we have an event but we have yet to have a date.

Oatmeal+Toddlers

Oh how I wish I could post some pics of the girls on here. They are on their 3rd bowl, each!, of oatmeal. They can't get enough of this stuff. They'd rather have oatmeal than Cheerios...I don't think I have normal toddlers in my home. Miss Z has gotten 2 bowls in her mouth and the other bowl she is wearing...and it is so stinkin cute!

We've already had a big morning in our home. Miss M finally used the toilet for the first time, it was very exciting. She got to wear her big girl undies until she wet them...now it's back to the diaper until she tinkles in the toilet again.

....ok so I just gave Miss Z her 4th bowl of oatmeal!....This little thing can EAT!

We are still getting adjusted to this thing called parenting. It's been hard to jump into it like we have but the Lord has given us the strength and patience we need. We keep learning as much as we can about child development and how trauma, neglect, and abuse, play a role in their development. This has helped us with compassion when we have a 3 hour meltdown!!! Or when she damages our home on purpose....They are nasty meltdowns. These meltdowns make me so sad because I know she is just acting out of fear from rough past. If you and I had gone through everything these little girls have gone through we'd have nasty meltdowns too!

We have had the girls 3 weeks now and I've already made 3 trips to the doctor. Miss Z's ear infection hasn't gone away even though we have finished her antibiotics so it's onto even stronger antibiotics...ugh. Miss M has a horrible diaper rash that started spreading to her legs. Turns out its a bacterial infection, which means more antibiotics. Can you tell I'm not a fan of antibiotics?

Miss M is now calling me mommy and she calls hubby by his first name. She started off calling me Liz, then it turned to momma Liz, and now its mommy.

We are able to get through several books with Miss M. We read 'You are Special' by Max Lucado a lot so she frequently asks us "I am special?" to which we reply, "Oh Miss M, you are so special. You are special to us but you are even more special to God."

Oh another improvement is that Miss M stayed in children's church the entire time this past week! We were so grateful for that!

Okay so those are some of the updates. It's a little harder to blog with everything that is going on right now but I'll do my best to do at least a once a week post with updates. So much more happens in a week with them around!

We have a winner!

Thanks for posting your highlights of the year! They were really fun and encouraging to read. I took all your comments and put them in bowl, closed my eyes, and grabbed one. Our winner of either the Starbucks or Sonic gift card is..... my sister, Grace!

Can family be apart of the prize winnings?? lol My highlight was definitely WILDWOOD! I learned so much in that little town and met some of the greatest people there. Spiritually I grew a lot and became even more confident in Christ! Woohoo!

Grace works at Starbucks so we'll see what she chooses!

Post #100=Prize Time!

I've been blogging for almost a year, just 3 weeks shy, and this is my 100th post!!! It all started on June 26th, 2008 with this post.

Our life has changed quite a bit since this first post. Our little family has grown 150% by adding a dog in November and then these 2 girls...and a good possibility of another one by the end of the month.

We've ridden a few intense roller coasters over the last 12 months. We rode the 'deployment roller coaster' for about 5 months when we weren't sure if Chase was getting deployed or not. At times it was a daily up and down as he was told he was going one day and told no the next.

We rode the 'fertility roller coaster' with yet another pregnancy and miscarriage.

And finally we most recently rode the 'placement roller coaster' as we were told we would get 2 different sets of sibling groups before the girls we have now.

If you've followed my blog for very long you've been apart of these crazy roller coasters. The good news is that even though there are a lot of scary lows to roller coasters, there is also the thrill of the up climb and the anticipation it brings. We've had a lot of great moments over the last year. We've been able to trust the Lord with our future, BIG TIME, we were able to celebrate life with you through the pregnancy, and now we've had the joy of taking care of 2 precious girls.

What has been your favorite moment in your life over the last 12 months? Post a comment with this answer and I'll do a drawing for a Starbucks or Sonic gift card, your choice!!! It's going to be a hard decision because who doesn't like Starbucks but Sonic does have a great happy hour from 2-4 on their drinks. Post a comment before 7:00PM (Central Standard Time) on Friday, June 12. I'll randomly choose a winner and announce who the blessed individual is on Saturday.